So you’re new to sex toys…
No shame here! Let’s find the perfect starter toy so you can ditch the guesswork and dive straight into fun. Shopping for your first sex toy can feel a little overwhelming. There are hundreds of options, a dizzying amount of jargon, and maybe a nagging voice in the back of your head whispering is this weird? Let’s put that voice to rest right now: exploring your own pleasure is completely normal, healthy, and honestly pretty great. This guide will walk you through everything you need to know as a first-time buyer, from picking the right type of toy to using it safely and confidently.
Why Even Start? The Case for Self-Exploration With Sex Toys
Before we get into what your first sex toy should be, let’s talk about why you should bother with buying one in the first place. Research consistently shows that people who understand their own bodies tend to have better sex lives whether solo or with a partner. A toy isn’t a replacement for connection; it’s a tool for understanding what actually feels good to you. That’s information worth having.
Step 1: Figure Out What You’re Looking For
The best first toy is the one that fits your curiosity. Ask yourself:
- What kind of stimulation interests me? External stimulation (think clitoral vibrators) is generally the most popular starting point because it’s low-pressure and highly effective for a lot of people. Internal stimulation (dildos, G-spot vibes) is another path. Some people want both.
- Do I want vibration, or not? Vibrators are the most popular category for beginners because the feedback is immediate and intuitive. Non-vibrating toys like dildos or plugs offer a different kind of sensation that some people strongly prefer.
- What’s my comfort level with size? When in doubt, start smaller than you think you need. You can always upgrade; a toy that feels intimidating won’t get used.
- What’s my budget? You don’t need to spend a fortune on your first toy, but very cheap toys often use lower-quality materials (more on that in a minute). A sweet spot of $25–$60 will get you something safe, effective, and well-made.
Step 2: Know the Most Common Types of Beginner Toys
Bullet Vibrators
Small, discreet, and powerful for their size, bullet vibes are one of the most popular beginner choices. They’re designed for external stimulation and are easy to hold and control. Great for solo play and for use with a partner.
Clitoral Vibrators
These are designed specifically to stimulate the clitoris, often with a variety of vibration patterns and intensities. They range from simple one-button designs to more ergonomic curved styles. If external stimulation is your main interest, this is probably your best starting point.
Suction & Air Pulse Vibrators
If you’ve been on the internet in the past few years, you’ve probably seen the rose toy, and there’s a reason it went viral. This category uses air pressure pulses rather than direct vibration to stimulate the clitoris, creating a sensation many people describe as closer to oral sex than anything a traditional vibrator produces. It’s genuinely different, and for a lot of people, dramatically more effective. Air pulse toys tend to work through indirect contact – the opening sits over (not on) the clitoris – which makes them approachable even for people who find direct vibration too intense. If you’re curious about external stimulation and want to skip straight to one of the most talked-about categories in the industry right now, this is worth serious consideration as a first sex toy.
Wand Massagers
Wands are larger, often corded or rechargeable, and deliver strong, rumbly vibrations. They’re incredibly popular. The Magic Wand became famous for a reason. A great choice if you already know you enjoy or prefer stronger stimulation.
Dildos
Non-vibrating toys designed for internal use. They come in a range of sizes and materials. Great for people who want to explore penetration at their own pace.
G-Spot Vibrators
These have a curved tip designed to make G-spot stimulation easier to find and explore. A solid choice if internal stimulation is on your list.
Butt Plugs (Beginner Size)
If anal play is on your radar, a small, beginner-sized plug is the right place to start. The key rule: always use a toy with a flared base for anal play so it can’t get lost. Never skip this.
Step 3: Material Matters. Stick to Body-Safe Options
This is genuinely important. Some cheaper toys are made from materials that contain phthalates, which can irritate sensitive tissue. As a beginner, look for toys made from:
- Medical-grade silicone — soft, non-porous, easy to clean, body-safe
- Borosilicate glass — smooth, firm, temperature-play friendly, non-porous
- Stainless steel — durable, non-porous, easy to sterilize
- Hard ABS plastic — rigid, non-porous, common in budget-friendly vibes
Avoid toys labeled “jelly,” “rubber,” or “PVC” unless they’re explicitly labeled phthalate-free…and even then, they’re porous and harder to keep clean.
Step 4: Lube Is Not Optional
Using a lubricant makes almost every toy experience better and reduces any risk of irritation. The basic rule: use water-based lube with silicone toys. Silicone-based lubes can degrade the material over time. Water-based lube is compatible with everything and cleans up easily. If you’re using a glass or metal toy, you have more flexibility and can use any lube type you prefer.
Step 5: Clean It Before and After Every Use
Even a brand-new toy should be cleaned before first use. For most toys, warm water and mild, fragrance-free soap is all you need. Non-porous toys (silicone, glass, metal) can be sterilized more thoroughly – boiled, run through the dishwasher (top rack, no soap), or wiped with a 10% bleach solution and rinsed well. We have a full guide on toy cleaning if you want the complete breakdown by material.
Step 6: Storage and Privacy
Most toys come with a storage pouch. Use it. Keeping toys in a bag or box:
- Prevents dust and debris from collecting on porous surfaces
- Protects the finish on glass and metal toys
- Keeps everything discreet if privacy matters to you
Avoid storing silicone toys touching each other for long periods as some silicones can react with each other over time.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it normal to feel nervous buying your first sex toy?
Completely. Even people who are very comfortable with their sexuality sometimes feel a little awkward the first time. That feeling usually disappears the moment you realize how straightforward and low-key the whole thing is.
Do I need to tell my partner?
Nope. Your body, your business. That said, many couples find that introducing toys together is a really positive experience but that’s a conversation for when and if you’re ready.
What if I don’t like my first sex toy?
It happens. Bodies and preferences vary enormously, and sometimes the first choice just doesn’t click. That’s not a problem, it’s just part of figuring out what you like. Start simple, keep your expectations realistic, and treat it as the beginning of an ongoing experiment.
Are more expensive toys actually better?
Sometimes, yes. Higher-priced toys often use better motors (quieter, more powerful, with more nuanced vibration), better materials, and better rechargeable battery systems. That said, there are excellent toys at every price point. You don’t need to spend $150 to have a great first experience.
Picking Your First Sex Toy – The Short Version
- Start with external stimulation if you’re unsure. It’s the most approachable entry point for most people
- Choose body-safe materials: silicone, glass, metal, or ABS plastic
- Pick a size that feels comfortable, not aspirational
- Always use lube
- Clean your toy before and after every use
- Don’t overthink it. The best toy is the one you actually use
Ready to browse? Check out our full collection of toys everything is sorted by type to make it easy to find exactly what you’re looking for.